I was off work again today. Both the boys are struggling with the initial novelty of remote schooling and their motivation to fully complete things. Going to work most days, we were under the impression that we could trust that they were getting on with things but it appears not. Perhaps we were too focused on our work lives to pay attention or complacent but we are now faced with having to alter our work pattern. Some angry words were said last night. Being teenage boys, one in particular opened his mouth before engaging his brain and said some hurtful things which prompted an angry reaction from tired parents and then things spiralled.
But it made me think about my own behaviour during this time. I have been in the main throwing myself into the fray, thriving in the chaos, giving it everything at work. At the expense it seems of my family life. Sure, I have been home often but only as often as I was pre C word times. I have been emotionally absent, not paying attention to the needs of the most important people in my life.
All day I felt a bit shafted not to be able to ride to work, on reflection, an obsession that has taken pernicious hold of my life in the last 6 weeks. I spent the day doing housework but “on-call” for any questions of which there were few. From the bedroom, I watched Julian 2 doors down construct his deck while Leon next door painted the fence that he has gradually constructed. Everywhere our neighbours have focused on using their furloughed time wisely and I have become a little envious of the time that others have on their hands while I am stuck either working or plodding away on my essay.
I was bored so while 1 boy was walking the pooch and the other went for a ride with his mates, I went for a spin to clear my head. Not far but far enough to sort my head out. I think. I don’t know but at least this evening was calmer with no agro. I hope that it lasts now that we have a plan to be around more often. So tomorrow it’s my turn for work tomorrow. Life goes on.
Total UK deaths: 32,692 (627)